Many years ago, my brother and I rented a car and drove up to Sundance-it proved to be a memorable experience. We stayed at my grandparents' house and had a friend of mine buy us discount student tickets. I think we saw 5 or 6 films and had a great time. In honor of the Sundance lineup being announced today (and the cool fact that same little brother is going this year in a "professional" capacity-aka coke dealer) I present my Completely Ignorant Review of the Sundance Film Festival Lineup!!! (I know the title stinks - let me work on it)
The first time we went, I put lil bro in charge of picking which movies we wanted to go see. I think all he had to pick from were very short synopses - it made for an interesting mix of films. I have always wondered if I would have picked the same.... oh well - I know nothing about these movies. These are snap judgments, get it!? (Here is the link to the Variety article and full lineup)
American Son: This story of romance on shore leave stars the incredibly retarded cast of Nick Cannon and Tom Sizemore. Here's hoping the romance isn't.. "forbidden".The names aren't ones that inspire a great deal of confindence. There is always the train-wreck factor and the long cinematic history of soldiers doing crazy sheet on leave, and you can watch to see the tracks on Sizemore's arms... so we'll leave this one as a maybe
Anywhere USA: Sounds lame and faggy... plus the writer-director hyphenates his last name... No Thanks
Ballast: Oh brother - the story of a tragedy and a poor family in the Mississippi Delta -SNORE.... No Thanks
Choke: Okay so I know this one... Let me see - Palahniuk, Rockwell and Huston.... hell YES!
Downloading Nancy: There are few sure things in cinema... the galaxy will be saved, and Maria Bello will take her top off. Combine that fact with a plot described as a "dark study" of a "tortured love affair", and it spells Y.E.S.!
Frozen River: A woman turnes to smuggling illegals on the Canadian border. Um, not gonna make it - why the heck would mexicans go all the way to Canada to sneak across the border? Ridiculous! No Thanks
Good Dick: Nope - Can't get past the title... Also two words a man should never say . No Thanks
The Last Word: "an irreverent romantic comedy centering on a reclusive writer-for-hire of suicide notes"-featuring everybody's favorite brooding psycopaths Wes Bentley and Winona Ryder. Give me a reason why not? YES
The Mysteries of Pittsburgh: An adaptation of Michael Chabon's first novel by the writer-director of Dodgeball - Hell YES
North Starr: Sounds lame No Thanks
Phoebe in Wonderland: Another one you just can't get past the title - It may be an opium induced orgy, but I doubt it. No Thanks
Pretty Bird: Although the title is one of my favorite lines from "Dumb and Dumber" and Giamatti usually gets me to the theater - I think I will pass. No Thanks
Sleep Dealer: I'll let Variety handle this one - a social commentary-infused sci-fier about three strangers who attempt to break through future technological barriers to connect in a world of closed borders and virtual labor. To sum up lame... and probably stupid as well No Thanks
Sugar: Once again, not a stag film... No Thanks
Sunshine Cleaning: It sounds like another attempt at a loveable quirky comedy that America just falls in LOVE with! And gyno-centric to boot! Oh geez... another one? Perhaps Steve Zahn will get high alot and save this one. Maybe
The Wackness: Okay, so the title is terrible, but aren't you interested in seeing Method Man and one of the Olsen twins in a drug movie? Who knows what debauchery went on during shooting... YES!
I will save you the time of looking through the documentaries... Only one seems to be worth anybody's time: Slingshot Hip Hop," directed by Jackie Reem Salloum, looks at Palestinian rappers. It should be good for a few laughs...
The first time we went, I put lil bro in charge of picking which movies we wanted to go see. I think all he had to pick from were very short synopses - it made for an interesting mix of films. I have always wondered if I would have picked the same.... oh well - I know nothing about these movies. These are snap judgments, get it!? (Here is the link to the Variety article and full lineup)
American Son: This story of romance on shore leave stars the incredibly retarded cast of Nick Cannon and Tom Sizemore. Here's hoping the romance isn't.. "forbidden".The names aren't ones that inspire a great deal of confindence. There is always the train-wreck factor and the long cinematic history of soldiers doing crazy sheet on leave, and you can watch to see the tracks on Sizemore's arms... so we'll leave this one as a maybe
Anywhere USA: Sounds lame and faggy... plus the writer-director hyphenates his last name... No Thanks
Ballast: Oh brother - the story of a tragedy and a poor family in the Mississippi Delta -SNORE.... No Thanks
Choke: Okay so I know this one... Let me see - Palahniuk, Rockwell and Huston.... hell YES!
Downloading Nancy: There are few sure things in cinema... the galaxy will be saved, and Maria Bello will take her top off. Combine that fact with a plot described as a "dark study" of a "tortured love affair", and it spells Y.E.S.!
Frozen River: A woman turnes to smuggling illegals on the Canadian border. Um, not gonna make it - why the heck would mexicans go all the way to Canada to sneak across the border? Ridiculous! No Thanks
Good Dick: Nope - Can't get past the title... Also two words a man should never say . No Thanks
The Last Word: "an irreverent romantic comedy centering on a reclusive writer-for-hire of suicide notes"-featuring everybody's favorite brooding psycopaths Wes Bentley and Winona Ryder. Give me a reason why not? YES
The Mysteries of Pittsburgh: An adaptation of Michael Chabon's first novel by the writer-director of Dodgeball - Hell YES
North Starr: Sounds lame No Thanks
Phoebe in Wonderland: Another one you just can't get past the title - It may be an opium induced orgy, but I doubt it. No Thanks
Pretty Bird: Although the title is one of my favorite lines from "Dumb and Dumber" and Giamatti usually gets me to the theater - I think I will pass. No Thanks
Sleep Dealer: I'll let Variety handle this one - a social commentary-infused sci-fier about three strangers who attempt to break through future technological barriers to connect in a world of closed borders and virtual labor. To sum up lame... and probably stupid as well No Thanks
Sugar: Once again, not a stag film... No Thanks
Sunshine Cleaning: It sounds like another attempt at a loveable quirky comedy that America just falls in LOVE with! And gyno-centric to boot! Oh geez... another one? Perhaps Steve Zahn will get high alot and save this one. Maybe
The Wackness: Okay, so the title is terrible, but aren't you interested in seeing Method Man and one of the Olsen twins in a drug movie? Who knows what debauchery went on during shooting... YES!
I will save you the time of looking through the documentaries... Only one seems to be worth anybody's time: Slingshot Hip Hop," directed by Jackie Reem Salloum, looks at Palestinian rappers. It should be good for a few laughs...
5 comments:
great run down... i had read that it was going to be very political this year.
Where did you read that it was going to be very political this year. In fact the articles all talk about how it is exactly the opposite. They are all dark comedies, because everyone is bitter about the war and the country. I didn't know that was what "choke" was about?
Anyways just so you know this is only the film in competition, my film and the others will be announced at 1:00 pm today, if i get the time i will post about it.
By the way the pic for SUNSHINE CLEANING is really cool,
here is the link
http://www.screendaily.com/ScreenDailyArticle.aspx?intStoryID=36072&Category=
or just go to www.screendaily.com
I wouldn't dismiss Sleep Dealer. It's gonna be the "sleeper" hit of the fest. Ha! No, but seriously, it's a good film. It's got special FX, hot babes, and things go boom. Don't let the high-falutin' description scare you.
Hey anonymous the problem with your stupid "Sleep Dealer" movie the trades describe it as a "commentary infused thriller...to break ... barriers in a world of closed off borders and virtual labor" I don't care if it was porn that sort of talk don't roll here.
ooh a thriller that is going to change the world by making me think about globalization...
i agree with fritop, the best politically motivated works are those that noone knows are politically motivated.
but then again in this day and age, it would take too much creativity to do "A Modest Proposal" type work and Hollywood aint got it.
Post a Comment